health, (More's own)
I never so much as heard of
Howe’s Treatise
on delighting in God – O give me a Book which will teach
me to do so! The very name gets one an Appetite, or rather makes
one long to get it. – Indeed I read little of Spiritual things, and of other things
scarcely one Word. I am something like a gouty or intemperate General
Officer, I am either in my bed or in the Field; pain and Action pretty equally
divide my life between them, with some preponderance, however, I thank God on
the latter side, but reading and writing are things almost as much out of the
question with me as with the poor savages I live with, for if I am well enough
to be up I am well enough to be out, in a general way.
Mrs. W
and all of you must have thought
me if not “rather a kind of imposter”, yet rather a kind of a brute not to have
written a word since we parted, so kind as you all were to me! But I know how
you are overdone with writing and I spare you every unnecessary
line.
To speak the truth I have been a little worked
myself and for the few last days
have been confined to my bed by one of my feverish colds; I am sitting up a
little to day but not in very good writing plight having a blister on my back as
broad as
little William’s face.
I wonder if I shall ever see that said little William? –
To thank you over-warmly for your feeling and affectionate letter
would be to imply that it was possible I coud have suspected your large
liberality and considerate kindness
.
I shall obey you by
dedicating
Mrs. Barnards
kind
legacy to the purchase of a post Chaise, and her Annuity to the maintaining
it
. I
hope I shall keep within the limits of your
allowance. Any two periods of the year it will be the same to me to receive it.
Christmas and Midsummer are my usual grand seasons, but if a Month or two or
three later will suit you better, I can manage as I shall have some money of my
own to take.
An
inflammation in my eyes making a part of my indisposition compells me to end
–
I write a few lines to thank you for your kind solicitude about me,
when you yourself were probably suffering so
much more.
Mrs. R. T.
confirms the
account of your very oppressive cold, Which I hope
/will be removd by/
the blessing of God on this fine change in the
weather,
for it is now raining green pease and goosebery
Tarts: and our grass, which on Sunday was as brown as a Mat is now as green as an
Emerald.
I thank God my
fever has given way and I am again much better, tho I had an ague fit the night
before last, as I generally have on every change of
weather. I heartily rejoyce at
the improvd account of
Mr.
T.
Lady Waldegrave who spent a long day
here Yesterday
(which prevented my
writing)
thinks he looks tolerably. In addition to her
heavy sorrows,2 she is now involv’d in two or three
/law/
suits which are
this moment trying at Our Assizes, and in which, as her Antagonist (her late
Steward) a friend of
Mr. Bere’s3
a deep
designing Man has made a party against her, I fear she will be cast. Every thing
however which relates to money is a trifle compared with her other causes of
sorrow.4
This is my first
letter since my visitation. – not but that I could write, for
my Sword Arm escaped the
fire.
But
thro’ the extreme and undeserved kindness of my friends, I suppose there have
been not much less than a hundred letters of inquiry to answer, and tho it sadly
overloads
P. who is not well and assisted by
S – yet I forbear writing to those to whom
I wishd that I might conscientiously say I had written to none – this has given
me a little time for my other business.
I have generally managed in the same way with
visitors, which I believe includes every creature /(visitible)/ within ten
Miles, so that having so good an excuse I have rather gained time than
lost.
How mercifully have I been dealt with! and how often has that promise
occurred to me –
‘When thou passest thro the fire’
&c!
I often wonder I was not more overcome with
terror at seeing myself one Sheet of flame.
Miss
Roberts’s
grievous wounds, for she was entirely burnt from her
wrists to her fingers ends and was obliged to have her ring filed off, are
healed sooner than my slight ones.
– My shoulder and Arm only were burnt, not a
single thread of the Sleeve of my Chemise remained; it is however at present
only an inconvenience, and not a suffering – I cannot yet put on a gown – but it
is nothing more.
Allow me to offer You
a plain and simple, but sincere and cordial assurance of my gratitude for the
great honour you have done me, and the great gratification you have given me, by
your elegant and beautiful
Poem
*. Tho I feel myself, (and
there is no affectation in declaring it) very unworthy of the kind and flattering
things it contains, yet I feel a considerable addition of pleasure in perusing it,
from the idea that it is your approbation of the serious Spirit in
the little work*
which you are so good to commend which disposes You to overlook any defects in the
composition; defects multiplied by bad health which
indisposes, and partly incapacitates me from correcting coolly, tho it does not
yet always prevent me from writing rapidly, and therefore I fear,
carelessly.
Now for the reason why I did not write on Saturday –
Since you left us I have
had and still have, a most severe bilious attack which I am thankful waited your
departure before it appeared, as
I should have been grieved to
have lost any of the little time in which I was within reach of enjoying your
Society.
I feel quite thankful that I was enabled to keep us so stoutly while you were
with us,
as I have fallen back into my
natural, that is my bad state ever since.
I am however better to day;
I fancy I
feel more thankful for a day’s ease and a night’s rest than those can do whose days
and nights suffer no such interruptions. Yet I am conscious of not feeling half
grateful enough for the unnumbered and undeseved [sic] mercies I enjoy.
I feel the benefit of this dry Air and have suffered less and
Slept more since the frost, severe as it is, set in. My love to
your fair Companion
My Sisters present best respects
When I get a good day, which is not often that [tear] fair and alluring
vision of
Brampton Park dances before my
eyes and
P. and I actually ta[lk] [tear] of
plans and measures. Should this favorite pray[er] be realized I
think we should, with submission to /the will of/ a higher power manage to be with
you the middle of May at farthest. Remember that I Visit you on an
Apostolic principle
seeking not
yours but you*. So dont be anxious about company.
I this moment receive your too kind letter, and tho it is late, and tho it is not
a
writing day,* and
tho I have been
so unusually ill the whole week,
I could not sleep if I
did not send you a line. I cannot express the vexation the mortification, I feel
at your not having got
the book
from me.
* I
directed not
Hatchard, but
Cadell the Publisher
who is always the dispenser of presents because they are sent a few
days before publication to send one the very first hour to
Bruton Street – and you have not had it
– I should have ordered it to
Huntingdon
with the Bishop's but you my dearest Lady preferred your town House. Such a
thing ought not to vex me so much as it does. If you do not find it
in Bruton Street – which you will be charitable enough to tell me, I will order
Hatchard
/Cadell/
to send you the very first of the 2d. Edition,
which as the delay has been already so great will I hope put you in possession
of a more correct copy. Believe me, it is not that I overrate the Book, by
laying so much stress on this disappointment, but that I cannot bear the
suspicion of neglect, where both my affections, my esteem and my gratitude are
equally concerned.
With such a provision as you have furnished for my body and
mind, added to my many mercies, I must not complain of solitude and silence,
for tho I have been so ill the last ten days as
scarcely to be able to see any body, much less to talk to them I can
read and drink Soda, two luxuries which so many invalids have not, or
having, cannot enjoy.
Being to day under the disqualifying dominion of
Calomel*, I can only write a hasty line on the principal
topics of your little
/but/
kind letter.
As far
as two sickly human beings can venture to determine,
P. and I hope to appear to you at
Brampton Park by the
middle of May;
but
the precarious state of
my eldest
Sister
adds to our uncertainty, tho she is much
/better/
Such a nice, long and truly interesting letter as you sent me had a claim to earlier
notice. But even now I must rather be contented to thank you for it than to answer
it. I have had a severe attack of
illness. To others it would have been but a
cold, to me it
has been a bad-ish
fever. I am so far on the recovery as to
sit up. But I am so thankful to quit my bed that I am satisfied to keep my room
which I however hope to leave in a few days
If I can get rid of my
cough
P. and I are engaged to go to our dear
Dean of Wells about the 29th., being there we
must also acquit ourselves of a long promise to stay a little with
the Bishop. there will be a little difference in these
Visits!!
Mr.
Way
I trust will not be likely to come just at
that time as it is the only time I shall be from home. Indeed the Dean I believe
will be of
the Jew party at
Bristol
.
Tho this sickness has separated me from
my Apostle,
I shall conclude in his words
by recommending you and yours to God and the word of his
Grace
. I am with true affection ever my dearest Lady O
–
faithfully yours
HM
Tho I have nothing
/to say,/
and am not well
enough to say it if I had, I cannot forbear writing a line
to unite in sympathy with you, on the, I fear hopeless, state
of our dear invaluable
Henry
Thornton
*, a letter from
Mr. Wilberforce
* and another from the
Macaulays last night, leaves us little or
nothing to hope. Oh! what a chasm will his death make in the world! It will not
only be irreparable to
his broken hearted
wife
, and poor children*, but
to multitudes of the poor and the pious.
May God comfort us all,
especially his own family, and sanctify to us this heavy loss, by quickening
us in our preparation for our own great change!
For my own part,
my hopes have been long very faint, tho in opposition to the declaration of his
eminent Medical Attendants* I shall always think
/
entre nous/
that corroding grief for
his unfortunate brother preyed on his
vitals, and laid his weak constitution open to any disease which might attack
it:
I dread that every post may bring us the final issue
of this long disease
!
I long to know how your health
/is/
and whether you
have gained strength by living quietly at home.
– I have had
an
Ophthalmia
* most suffering. If all the dispensations of God
were not just and right, I should have said it came unseasonably when I had so
much [tear] for my eyes. I bless God they are
[tear] to me, after being consigned for some time to
darkness and idleness.
Tho I sent you a few days ago a longer letter than I write to any
body else, yet I thought you would wish to hear from me on a Subject so
interesting to you.
The day after
Mr.
Hodson
got my letter he and
his pupil presented themselves in the morning and spent
the day here. With the latter I had only general intercourse, my chief
object with him being to make myself as pleasant as my state of health
allowed, and to remove any prejudice he might have entertained of
my being severe and dictatorial. While I sent him walking and talking with
young Gisborne, I took the Tutor into my room for a
couple of hours. I will as nearly as I can recollect, tell you our chief discourse.
His first endeavour has been
/not/
to give him any disgust, but to gain his
affection. He finds him conformable and complying with his injunctions, but not in
habits of application, or much given to reading He is more anxious at first to bring
him to stated habits and a regular disposition of time than to force too much
reading upon him till he discovers more liking to it. At half past 8 he gives him,
I
think about a dozen verse of
the Greek Testament to study and meditate
upon alone. At Nine he sets him to construe those passages to him and after
they have discussed the Greek in a literary and grammatical point of view, he then
expounds them to him spiritually and Theologically: then their devotions and a
little walk before breakfast. I suggested that as he is inclined to sit over his
Meals that a short thing, a medium sort of reading such as a paper in
the
Rambler
* might be
well taken up. His Mornings are at present engaged with
Quintilion whom
they study /both/ separately and together. I ventured to give my opinion that as he
would fill a great station in the world, and was not much addicted to study it might
be well to endeavour to imbue his mind with general knowledge such as would
be useful in life, and to allure him to the perusal of history and Travels; to make
him learn a passage from
the Orations of Demosthenes or Cicero, in the
Greek & Latin and then to translate and recite them in English, and to labour
after a good manner of recitation. Mr.
H. told me, and Mr. S. himself told
my
Sisters
that they had spent their time in the most trifling manner at
Harrow, and that very little was required
of them there. In consequence Mr. H says his habits of conversation are too
frivolous, horses &c &c being the favorite theme. Before evening prayer Mr. H. reads and again expounds Scripture. This he
says is all the formal religious instruction he gives, for he
/is/
afraid to weary him, but he tries to make their walks, their common reading
instructive. I insisted much on the necessity & importance of this, knowing it
is the best way to mix up instruction with the common pursuits of life. They
sometimes dine and drink tea out, but as it is in correct and pious company, I
thought it better for his youth than to be confin’d to a tete a téte always with his
Tutor. The latter likes his young friend who has yet given him not the
slightest cause of complaint.
Conceiving that you will be glad to hear from time to time a word from me respecting
your Son, I resolve to scribble a line, tho yesterday was a peculiarly bad day.
Mr. Sparrow
his Tutor and
Mr. Hensman
spent a long day here lately.
I took Mr. H. as usual into my room; we had a very long discussion, and I required an explicit
account of their goings on, which he very minutely gave me. I have the satisfaction
of reporting that every thing seems very promising; if the improvements are not rapid
they are at least progressive. At my request he has begun to attempt composition.
He reads
Watts’s Logic*and Mr. H. makes observations on their joint perusal both of that and whatever else they
read together. As the days lengthen he rises earlier which gives him more time for the
Greek Testament before breakfast. He is translating some passages from
Demosthenes* which will help to form his Style. I suggested that here after he should learn and
recite some fine passages in
Burke’s Speeches.*
He reads by himself more than he did, and I lent for that purpose
Plutarch’s Lives
;* and
Travels thro Germany
.* I have also presented sent him with
the Saint Paul of Barley Wood
,* which he has promised to read; I told him that being written by one who had the honour
to be his Mother’s friend, it might interest him more. Mr. H. says that tho he cannot say he sees as yet any decided piety, yet he has great pleasure in seeing that he [has] not the slightest prejudice
against religion or religious people. This is
/a/
great point for ‘a
Harrow fellow’.* But what I rejoyced at as the most gratifying circumstance, was that he told me he
possessed great purity of mind. This is a blessed thing at an age when boys have commonly
their minds tainted.
May God’s blessing preserve it to him! I think
Clifton a very fortunate situation for him. I think now he is getting a step towards manhood
he would hardly endure the dullness & total want of society of an obscure Village,
where he woud probably be too solitary, or led into inferior company. Now at Clifton
their little social intercourse is entirely among religious, and well mannered people,
and his Sunday’s Instruction sound and good. It was Providential for poor distressed
Hensman to get Hudson to fill at once the Niche so fortunately vacated by
Cowan,* or he might have forced himself into it again at his return. There appears to subsist
a pleasant affection and confidence between the Tutor and Pupil and Hensman says the
latter has easy access to his house where he often calls, and where he will get nothing but good. I have said so
much about this interesting youth that I have left myself no room for other Subjects.
Death has again been thinning the ranks of my beloved friends.
Mrs. Porteus
has followed
her dear Bishop, I trust to the land of everlasting rest. She was to me a faithful and attached friend
for 35 Years, and one of that sure and steady character that, in that long period,
I never experienced from her a wry word;
/or a cold look. I always spent June with them./
She had been thro life the healthiest Woman I ever knew, and her fine person and sound
health gave you no idea of age.
She taken, and I spared! Such is the dispensation of infinite wisdom!
You are very good to express so kind a wish to see us at
Brampton. Few things would give us more pleasure. But I really think home is the only place for invalids, tho the sick in general seem to act on the direct contrary principle But there is
another reason – we have already refused some invitations, to travel with
/some/
friends and to go to meet others. Among the latter dear
Mrs. H. Thornton
* wished us to join her at
Malvern in case she should be able to go. It was with reluctance I was obliged to say I feared
we should not be able to accomplish it; tho, her sad situation considered, if we did
any thing, it ought to be with a view of seeing her. Notwithstanding her Christian
exertions,
every letter from her seems to wear a deeper shade of woe.
But to return for one moment to
your Bible Gala – How I should have
delighted to have made an unworthy guest at this hallowed festival! What did
your Neighbour say to your muster roll
of Peers and Peeresses? What honour would he have done himself by joining it! A
propos of Bible Meetings – Our excellent
Bishop of
Gloucester
rode over
Mendip one
broiling Morning to invite
P. and I to spend the
week at
Wells and attend
a B. Meeting at
Glastonbury of which he is
President
.
